Thursday, March 3, 2011
Memo from the BFID
Memo from the BAD FUCKING IDEAS DEPARTMENT: Soundgarden
Sigh. Soundgarden have just announced they're making their first new album in 15 years. This is a bad fucking idea. Remember when those guy's were awesome - ripping off Zeppelin on Superunknown, Cornell in docs and cut-off army pants wooing the ladies while Kim shredded on a wah peddle in the background. Good times. Then they released Down on the Upside which kind of sucked because they hated each other and the contempt they had for each other started to show up in their shows. Remember when Ben played with his back to the audience in Brisbane for the entire gig? Good times.
Then they split up and we had that unholy alliance of Rage Against the Machine and Soundgarden known as Audioslave which was just megawatt suckage. Seriously, I'm sure revolution would have come quicker in the Middle East if Audioslave's second album had been used as a call to arms. Unable to bare to torment, the oppressed peoples would have risen up to stop the god awful racket - Gadaffi would be overthrown in minutes if that shit got played. THEN Cornell released a dance album with Timberlake (?!) which is the aural equivalent of watching your 80 year old aunty turning up to a funeral in hotpants. Then he released the second worst Bond theme in history (after Duran Duran).*
So, after this appalling slight to their legacy, Soundgarden reforms and that's good news. The Pixies did it and everyone was happy. Just play the songs we love. You can't compete with your back catalogue - just cash in now honey... wait... what? You're recording a new album. Oh for fuck's sake, just play Jesus Christ Pose already and we'll pay you lot's of money. Don't take a shit on your legacy - seriously, don't do it. It is not 1994 anymore.
Just don't alright!
Yours sincerely,
Manager
BAD FUCKING IDEAS DEPARTMENT
*And yes, I think the Madonna Bond theme is better than Duran Duran and Cornell's. It is easily the third worst Bond theme.
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Worse than Nirvana re-forming with Courtney Love at the helm, and performing Nevermind in its entirety for a world tour?
ReplyDeleteStill, what's the deal with Audioslave? Top talent, top producer, and crap songs, crap everything.
I'll bet there will be a Police- and Pixies-style reunion/tour DVD which airs all the grievances and the quiet desperation that spells out No More Royalties So We Have To Do This. For The Money. Thankyou. Soundgarden Rule.
Those scenes with David Lovering hunting for scrap, and doing magic tricks - I hope I don't have to see any more sad Realities behind the Dream like that any more. No wonder he started doing drugs again. No wonder the industry sucks.
Wow I never heard that Courtney story. Is that recent? I'll inform the manager.
ReplyDeleteI think the whole Audioslave debacle highlights the intangible magic that makes some bands work and others just suck. All these people are talented musicians but Cornell has never sounded more compelling than in Soundgarden (if we're brutally honest, really only Badmotorfinger and Superunknown). Also the Rage side bands (Street Sweeper, One Day as a lion etc) suck too. The chemistry of a band is more important than the talent of the individual players as these examples show.
To be honest, I love the crazy shit ex-musicians get up to. My favourites are Jim Martin from Faith No More (pumpkin farmer) and Dan Spitz from Anthrax (gave it all away to be a watch maker...).