Essential Playlists: The Apocalypse Playlist

Birds falling from the sky? Check. Dead fish washing up on beaches? Check. A pack of 400 wolves wandering the Russian wilderness? Check. Catastrophic weather events like floods and fires? Check. Locust plagues? Check. Justin Beiber posing with Angelina Jolie at the Golden Globes? Check. The seven signs of the apocalypse are nigh. We just have to wait for Barry Manilow to tour Australia and then we know it's truly the end of days. Oh wait... damn...

As my buddy Katie noted recently, the world is fast coming to an end and as such, it is essential to have a good playlist for the apocalypse. What says "holy shit, the east coast of Australia just fell into the sea" better than post rock? Sad eyed boys in cardigans unleashing torrents of distortion while they lurch and lunge across the stage. My feeling is that the first song on any doomsday playlist is Dead Flag Blues (above and seriously, if you haven't heard it, listen to it now). Beyond that I think you gotta have ya Mogwai, ya Explosions in the Sky and the like because nothing says death and destruction than indie boys with distortion pedals.

The reason I choose post rock is because I think instrumental music will make it seem more like a movie. When I watch the sky turn blood red as dogs turn on their masters and buildings collapse around me, the last thing I need to be doing is singing along to some crappy lyrics. Forget your favourite Tool song or the Doors the End. Unfortunately, I think most people would pick the obvious choice of It's the end of the world as we know it by REM on their playlist. The problem I have with this song is that it sounds like this to me:

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
It's the end of the world as we know it (x3)
and I feel fine...
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah cont...

The last thing you need is to be sitting on a rooftop watching the city reduced to fire and rubble listening to that song and go "Wow, it really is the end of my fucking life... oh my GOD! It's terrible... Hey, did Michael Stipe just say something about doughnuts? I don't know, I might have to listen to that bit again." You gotta keep your mind focussed on the unfolding apocalypse. As a friend just said to me, you can't be retro about this, you have to be present. Unless you're an arch ironist and you're listening to Bootylicious.

So, if it's 2012 and you see your annoying Christian workmate ascending to heaven because the rapture is upon us, make sure that you ipod is charged and your end of the world playlist is ready to go.

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